Why porn movies (mostly) suck? Any idea?

August 4th, 2009 Leave a reply »

Need your advice.

I was watching right now a porn video. I don’t do it very often – my imagination is quite good.

But I would actually do it more often, if only they were on average better.

I have the clear impression that producers of porn videos typically consider the audience of their material as being totally dumb.

It may be some cultural prejudice, perhaps… (as if they thought: “Ok, you are wanking on my production so you must be a bit dumb, therefore I’ll let you swallow whatever, who cares.”)

But you know what? Since we all masturbate,  this actually includes the smartest among us – probably the smart ones masturbate even more :-) (I’m quite serious here, I have a theory…).

So why not trying to target some porn movies at somewhat sophisticated wankers?

I mean, there are certainly high quality erotic movies around, but when you get to strict porn, then you are pretty much out of luck if your IQ is somewhere higher than 52. Obviously, you can still get aroused with them (I do get aroused, even when they suck) but it would be  a better deal if you hadn’t that sneaky feeling that the porn producers didn’t care too much, and that they were pretty much trying to fool you (you, the wanking dumbass).

I am not talking about quality in the technical sense – actually the budget in itself means very little, pretty much as in the mainstream movie industry. I am talking about the lack, usually, of any visible attempt to be a bit out-of-the-box, a bit less serial and standardized, trying to make some honest effort to please the viewers… Why Quentin Tarantino does not try making a porn movie, for godsake? :-D

What do you think? Am I being too prickly here? Any great example of porn that does not suck? I might compile a list….

PS: a picture from my archive, of myself just before the little experiment of driving naked :) … but don’t get distracted, I’d love to hear your opinion on the topic above….

Zuzinka driving naked

If you like this post, you may want to check my longer, naughty videos

42 Responses

  1. Ryan Ryan says:

    My wife and i felt absolutely jofuyl that Ervin managed to round up his researching with the ideas he made when using the site. It is now and again perplexing just to find yourself giving freely steps that people may have been selling. We see we now have you to give thanks to because of that. All the explanations you’ve made, the straightforward web site menu, the friendships you will make it easier to foster it’s mostly astounding, and it is facilitating our son and our family reckon that the subject matter is pleasurable, which is very fundamental. Thanks for the whole lot!

  2. manu7 manu7 says:

    I agree with your comments about the lack of good porn movies.
    The number of bad ones is staggering, the good ones very hard to find. And what turns people on may differ wildly. So many are made by brainless morons with no talent.

    It would be interesting to start a discussion on the few good ones people have found erotic. Do you have any special favourites? Which Czech pornstars do you you like? A local Czech view would be interesting.

    One intelligent, slightly comic film you might really enjoy – it was made to cinema standard by a talented director with movie experience – is “The Gift” (Spain 2006) by Roberto Valtuena – available from Orgazmik.
    Silvia Lancome and Salma de Nora were superb in it; Veronica da Souza also impressive. The next two Valtuena films were weak on script – not his. A newer urban comedy is due sometime if he gets refinancing.
    Salma is often very strong even in lesser films. Her beautiful scene in it “Perverted Planet” has some similarities to your own clips.
    You might also enjoy the short web clips on FTV Girls – especially Danielle/Emily erotic play outdoors.

    What would be wonderful would be to see you misbehaving with a girlfriend – another car trip, or the two of you inside a swimming pool changing room.

    You might find the current discussion on the European Girls EGAFD Forum (Oct 22-25) – started by an emerging Czech film-maker – of what people really want to see interesting and even get involved.
    And yes, all your fans would love to see you in a full movie – without panties of course.

  3. manu7 manu7 says:

    I agree with you – the number of terrible porn movies is staggering. The good ones are so rare. One you would really enjoy because it was made to cinema standard by an experienced director is “The Gift” made in 2006 by Spaniard Roberto Valtuena and available from Orgazmik, or from Thagson in Spain. It is an urban sex intrigue with a slight comic twist and excellent acting performances from main cast – Silvia Lancome and Salma de Nora, whose work on other films is usually very strong even if other elements are now there.
    Salma’s “scene in Perverted Planet” has some similarities to your own erotic adventures.
    Good luck with whatever you do next.

    There is a discussion thread (October 22-25) on the EGAFD forum seeking suggestions on making a new Czech film. You might be interested….

  4. Reducto Reducto says:

    Have you seen This Ain’t Star Trek XXX?

    I’m a trekker, so it’s of particular appeal to me (mostly comedic… mostly) and while it doesn’t really respect the viewer any more than usual (and the Uhura scene is rather disgusting in my opinion – not for any racist reasons, watch it and see what I mean…), it’s devotion to it’s subject matter is impressive.

    I got a few good laughs out of it, and a few good orgasms… anyway, check it out if that’s your thing.

  5. EL EL'er says:

    Hi Zuzinka,

    Just found your site this morning, looks pretty awesome so far. Here’s another idea you may want to keep in mind also. I noticed with far too many porn sites, there are too many close up shots and not enough whole body shots. Litterally thousands have a foot fetish and would also love to see legs and feet along with some of the things that you or others are doing. Like starting off with shoes on, then eventually kicking them off while you’re getting more aroused. Too many porn sites lack that, thinking close up shots are the thing, but too many of them lack the feet shots as for many that do have a foot fetish.. Usually in the real world, at least if guessing, about 80% of the people kick thier shoes off while having sex or masturbating, and that’s the part many porn sites seem to lack showing…

    Anyway,, just a thought for ya if ya wanna keep that in mind. I’m sure you might do some clips for which I haven’t seen all your clips, but more is always better for which we all have a fetish on something in one way or another..

  6. Zuzinka Zuzinka says:

    Thank you very much for all those comments guys.
    I have gone through them very carefully and made a whole new post based on your (and some of mine) thoughts.

  7. Adam Adam says:

    May I ask if you have a favourite list of movies you like?

  8. Adri Adri says:

    All right, girl: your blog is a girl teaser, too. And – guess what – I’m straight!
    But you’re making me veeery curious, and believe me, I wouldn’t dare – too shy – to expose myself like this if I weren’t THAT curious. Aside from a natural attraction I feel for your looks, I’m having the feeling that your blog is making me feel a lot less shy with the outside world. I just turned 23, friends say I’m good-looking – I’m going to start taking that for granted from now on ;o) – and I’m writing you first of all to thank you for keeping your fun and funny (and useful) blog updated. But also because I happen to like your style: your writing style, that is. I just graduated in film school here in Rome after a long stay in San Francisco, where I attended high school. And it’s just stunning to me how fluent your (almost) american-english writing is! It’s witty and practically flawless. So here’s where I’m really getting curious: are you able to formulate witty thoughts on camera, and make me really wet (ohmygod) by speaking to me, us, the camera guy and the world wide web?? You keep stressing the fact that you would welcome smart suggestions. I can’t think of anything smarter – and sexier – to suggest: speak to me, don’t just smile and tease! Otherwise I might think the camera guy is more than a camera guy or friend or whatever. Would you just imagine how much sexier your no-panty show at the cafè table would have been with you telling me what was going through your mind at that moment? It would have been less boring and it might have given you the answer to your pornos-for-dumb question. What do you say, Zuzinka?
    Love, Adri

    • jc jc says:

      Adri, keep on writing -good looking girl-! and try to write about your future -no panties- adventure outside the world, thinking on Zuzinka…

      :)

    • Reducto Reducto says:

      Zuzinka, you have to reply to this lady! I know it’s old, but it’s like a universal confluence of AWESOME – two straight girls turning each other on to a serious degree!

  9. Teekaa Teekaa says:

    Because it’s so obviously fake and un-natural …. Yoiu see “right through” it :-)

  10. Dimitri Dimitri says:

    I would like to be a Mercedes steering wheel…..

  11. Dimitri Dimitri says:

    Hey sexy girl….unfortunately you are right…as yet said, I think “modern” porn movies have a story of suck/fuck/cum….nothing around this to make excitement growing up…I don’t know why…maybe porn producers think we are only stupid wankers and we need only penetration images or cumming images…fortunately sometimes exciting websites (like yours) born…and we can take confort of the lack of the real porn movies….Porn story needed!!!!

  12. Hetrik Hetrik says:

    Hi Zuzinka!

    Thank You for the intensive writing in the Blog.

    Yesterday it woos to cold to go out with no panty’s?.

    How was the driving naked time? Also without shoes?

    Thank also to the man behind the cam. I think he will push You to new Limits.
    Who is it? How did You met him?

    I like the scene in the coffee and the bus. Pleas more of them. Maybe sometime with Toys.

    A month ago I saw a girl, went out of a train, with a tress the same texture in black that was two sizes to small for her. The seam lifted up at every step. She must always push it down otherwise she head naked cheeks after fife meters.

    There are some good films with erotic scenes. Because it is part of the story. Okay not always much Details.
    Actors heave Stunt doubles. And great Actresses heave Body doubles for naked close-ups.
    (Isabelle Adjanie in Bartholomew’s night)

    I lived 180 km South West from You.
    In German there is a proverb “Ist der Ruf erst mal ruiniert lebt sich’s ganz ungeniert!”
    Think how far you will go.

    Greetings Hetrik

  13. jerone jerone says:

    There aren’t any good porn movies, because it will be published on the internet for ‘free’ after first ‘use’. Then the producers getting any money, which makes the movie to expensive to make a nice one.

  14. Leo Leo says:

    Hi Zuzinka,
    of course it’s mainly about the money. The costs have to be low.
    But additionally, I haven’t seen any smart boy in porn right now. I don’t believe, it’s only the script but it’s also the people playing it. They might have nice bodies and can ej… when they’re told (I definitely can’t ;-) ). But this is not what makes them more intelligent. Maybe the smarter guys don’t want to play in a porn movie.
    An what Mr. Niceguy wrote, everybody (or hopefully at least most people) know that this is hard work and not fun. Therefor screaming as hell is not believable. (From my experience it’s also not, as long as it’s fun ;-)

  15. Claudio Claudio says:

    As I wrote before, I give u $1 million USD if we get married. if i’m nice I make it in EURO..
    what’d u say, interested?

  16. Zuzinka2 Zuzinka2 says:

    What is that for a mercedes?

  17. Brian Brian says:

    I just watched your public masturbation video and that is what Porno should be about! Totally, 100% erotic, unstaged and just how sex should happen – more please

  18. peter peter says:

    Zuzinka,
    you are right. The problem is the lack of story. Most porn-films has no plot. They don t need a regieseur. Very often the producer wants only fuch for themself.
    What we could do, we can try to find a nice plot and maybe you like to realize it for or with us. ;)

    peter

  19. Mr Niceguy Mr Niceguy says:

    Yes mostly it’s rubbish, porn from the USA is the worst, girls with enhanced boobs screamimg their heads off when they don’t even looked turned on.
    There are however some good examples, if you like watching girls try “Wonderful Solo” on youporn.com
    This is tasteful, real, good lighting and extremely horny for us boys. There are other examples of this kind of thing with couples, let me know if you’re interested x

  20. nworb noni nworb noni says:

    Salut, zuzinka
    Ben,j’adore ce que vous faite, c’est une belle photo, j’aurais aimer pouvoir te repondre mais je ne comprend pas l’anglais, je suis français je suis un mordu de tes vidéo
    Merci et a plus

  21. peter peter says:

    Hi Zuzinka,
    I think, that the problem is the lack of story. Most porno have no real plot. So you need no regiesseur, no terentino nessescary.
    Maybe we should develop a nice plot for a sexy film with you and you can if you want realize it with and for us.

    best wishes – peter

  22. Bernd Bernd says:

    Sorry for the double post..

  23. rafael rafael says:

    about porn videos…I just pretend i’m that stupid and go on with it. Sometimes it’s easier if you keep it simple. But i’m yet to see a good one , in your terms(eager too, altough it would probably be a new genre…)

  24. Bernd Bernd says:

    Lovely Zuzinka,

    Yes, you´re right! Many porn movies just suck, because they are made yery cheap and dumb.
    Some girls put together in a hotel room and being f. by some guys from every possible angle. and ready!

    Or those movies which are called “amateur movies” and where the actors pretend they never have done these kind of things before- I mean, who believes?

    Most of the movies are made for the male audience, so I can imagine why many women can´t get a thrill on this stuff.

    As for me- I don´t really like those cumshot scenes. I can hardly believe that so many women like it to be sprayed, can you?

    So in the past there have been older movies which were better. Not always for the technical quality, but for the ideas and humour.

    For example, old movies from the dark brothers in the 80´s.

    Or those france movies starring Alban Ceray and Richard Lemieuvre.

    Italian movies from Salieri are fun, and so on.

    Tell me, which kind of porn scenes turn you on?
    Do you prefer older movies- or only the newer ones?

    Yours

    Bernd

  25. rafael rafael says:

    careful not to crash passing cars with that… i’d certainly have a hard time lol

  26. Josh Josh says:

    Yeah Porn is dummed down, however I guess the reason why is most (guys anyways) dont actually finish it… in my case I find the scene with whichever girl I am into and jerk off then when I am finished the porn gets turned off.

    I have never sat and watched the porn for the story line, but thats mostly because the stories are all pretty lame and unrealistic.

    bring in a bit of reality and make it a bit smarter and it may do well. I dont know of any good porn with a decent story to it.

    I would be very interested in seeing some, what are your recommendations Zuzinka?

  27. jc jc says:

    Never found good porno stuff… some short films of amateurs, the more normal-innocent look, not porno-style typo, the better. Dialogue and a story based in some erotica with hardcore scenes are rare… I agree, Tarantino should make at least one for us! If you find, let me know.

    I enjoy now my own movies with GF’s, was there idea, not mine, I was nervous to hell…

  28. Adam Adam says:

    Well, You are right. If I have to choose I prefer to see an amateur couple before a professional porn couple. Why? There is a beauty in watching this because it often in a slower (more erotic pace). A lot of guys, inclusive me tends to favorize female masturbation videos, also here amateurs before professionals and a lot of websites knows this and offers great content (for example beautifulagony.com, abbywinters.com, ifeelmyself.com and ftvgirls.com).

  29. Andrew Andrew says:

    Did you provocated any massive car crash by distracting all of the male drivers (and some female drivers) while driving naked? :D *giggle*

  30. Gerry Frew Gerry Frew says:

    You’re right Zuzinka – porn movies are SO fomulaic. Sucking cock, sucking pussy (if the girl is lucky) then in out and coming on her face or breasts. I don’t think any friend of mine would be too keen for me to come on her face or breasts every time (maybe occasionally lol – but there would be a quid pro quo I’m sure – and quite rightly so). I think I could get hard enough and come just dreaming about sitting next to you – anything else would be absolutely extra.

    Love Gerry xx

  31. Johan Johan says:

    I guess that the “fake” factor is quite important… you can feel that most of the time the actors and actress are just working, they are not enjoying, at least not as much as we would like them to do so. Thats why I’d rather wtch home made porn and all that amateur stuff rather than studio made porn. Also I see there is a mechanical thing on movies… kiss eat pussy suck cock, fuck, sometimes anal, suck again and cumm… Women are completely left apart… I think that something that could make the porn industry better would be to have a much more women as directors and producers and also to have a bit more fun in the scripts, not only just lust and desire but also fun and games and stuff. But for me… big studio produced porn will allways be like fast food, and amateur home made porn definitely the real deal… more real feelings and stuff involved I guess

  32. maxtheapple maxtheapple says:

    haha i love the idea of tarantino making a porn, but i think for the industry it doesnt make any sense. i for myself love to watch homevideos and stuff and you of course ;) but if you would buy a porn you already know its not real so y try to? i mean you can watch every porn that you want on the net so y buy them anyway. i think the normal porn will just die in the future because you have more real things on the net going on. anyway i just thought its kinda funny that you wrote that because i never understood this by my self.

  33. Anonymous says:

    look prety zuzinka!

  34. Zed Zed says:

    Hi,

    I just found you tonight. Firstly I have to state the obvious and say how gorgeous you are…

    I agree with your comments. I don’t watch a lot of porn – mainly because I have yet to find some where I can’t stop myself thinking how bad it is! Sure, from a physical point of view, it works but it’s usually ‘too much for the cameras’ for me. I prefer to get the impression that the people are actually enjoying themselves rather than twisting themselves round to get a good camera angle.

    Brains and beauty huh? You’re a rare find!

  35. bernd bernd says:

    yes, you´re right! Many porn movies just suck..especially those where some bi.. are just put in some bloody cheap motel room and f.. from all possible angles.
    Or those movies which pretend to be “amateur” and the actors have never done this kind of stuff before..who believes?
    Some movies are just made too cheap, some movies are just to boring, always the same.. girl-boy, girl-girl, masturbation, gruop sex, cumshots all over.

    And- maybe I´m special, but i don´t like the cumshot. when some guy or several ej.,, into a girls face and the girl pretends to enjoy it. I cannot believe that there are many women who actually do that, do you?

    Anyhow, some good porn movies came from the dark brothers in the eighties.

    the priv..company nowadays makes some good movies with a lot of effort even some kind of real story.

    movies with ron jeremy are sometimes funny.
    older porn movies like “sweet savage”are more interesting.
    of course, you must like the hairs ;.)

    france and italian porn movies have recently been better than amarican ones.

    And, I think, most porn movies are made for the male audience, there still is a difference between female turn-ons and male ones.
    I think men need more graphically pictures than women, don´t they?

    What scenes do turn you on? what do you prefer to watch?

    OK, some information for you, was it interesting?

  36. Hi Mercedes-driving Zuzinka,
    Thanks for the post, you’re detaching yourself from the rest of the sex-driven sluts ;) I share the same reasoning (being also somewhat over 52 IQ) and my conclusions are that:
    1. money leads the world. if it’s cheap, disposable and uncomplicated, and it still sells, do it.
    2. stupid people don’t like innovation. they are comfortable with their suck – lick – fuck – doggy – cum on face routine. Change something and they will complain.
    3. we need creative PORN ARTISTS! But for that you’d have to neglect points 1 and 2. and nobody’s willing to do that. Too much effort for too little money.

    Will you become the first real porno artist, Zuzinka?

    • Zuzinka Zuzinka says:

      Hey Mister Soleil,
      you are sooo right :-(
      I have no intentions of becoming a porno artist but if you write me some awesome script I will most likely do it.

  37. Froben Froben says:

    Hey there,
    seriously; you are so fucking right. I’m mean at least today’s porn basicly sucks. Same actors, same camera angels, same story (not that there actually was one) and so on. I like some of the older porns from the 70s or 80s. They actually had a story. I could be anything from funny to thrilling but a good story makes the whole thing more exiting. If there is skript nowadays, most so called actors don’t even read it. That bullshit. You are right in the end it’s all about wanking (at least for men) but i think that wanking good be much better if there is some kind of real plot behind it.

    Seeing you driving naked is hot, although your shoes look kind of weird ;-)

    Why don’t you do a 15 to 20 min pron feature and we as a “community” of blog readers write your script. Something really meaninfull :-) Will probably be kind of low budget but as you said: that not what it’s about. It’s about a bit of intelligence.

    • Zuzinka Zuzinka says:

      Hi Froben,
      I am really glad you agree with me and that’s actually an awesome idea… I will make a post about that later and then you can write in the comments what would you like to see there, storyline, what clothes, whatever. I am really looking forward to that.

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